These photos were taken by Angelina… Visit her website… http://cherrymoonphotography.com/#

In the conversation she mentioned Jody, she knew about him and felt deeply as we carried him and loved him while he was here. Most importantly how we love him after. My heart sang… she knew his name… But again she confided in me, she was a mother of 3 lost babies… I remember all three a premature twin, one at 5 months and stillbirth. My heart sank. I had no clue what to say. How could I have no clue on what to say?

One thing she said is “I am pleased with where I am today.” I thought to myself… Where am I today in working with Jody’s loss? Grief is a journey you battle forever. Always aware of the black hole traveling behind you, knowing you could fall in at any moment…  You never stop yearning for your loved one, but after time it does get easier.

Where am I now?
This is a good question, one that I rarely have time to think about, nor would I ever think about writing about it…

I don’t make enough time for me these days; I am working mom to three living children, a wife and a part time crafter. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely keeping up! I have yet to get my groove back in terms of the way I use to be. I am almost ready to forget that organized, patient, outgoing person I was previously and embrace the new disorganized chaos that I have created.

I am different, forever changed. But also different from those early days where I was consumed by my grief…

I am so grateful to have found a small group of mamas who lost their babies to the same disease. I spent my days emailing and commenting with these babyloss mamas and they helped me feel sane and supported in a world that has no space for grief or dead babies.

I wrote a lot –I have pages filled with anger, jealousy, shame and bitterness. I couldn’t wrap my brain around what had happened. One moment a happy expectant mom, followed by a mom carrying a baby that would not make it, to being a bereaved mom. I guess I was really a train wreck…

Holding Jody briefly in my arms. Coming home to emptiness and meaningless. Wanting desperately to wake up from the nightmare that was my life. Time moved forward around me, without him. Other babies were born and grew. But I stood still.

Now life is so very different, 2 years 7 months and 20 days later…
I’m so grateful to be given another chance at motherhood. Julianna makes life worth living again. That sounds bad or does it? She gave me hope…  She keeps me busy, entertained and has helped me open my heart again. Sometimes I feel Jody watching us, standing next to us.  Joey feels him too…  By my saying that don’t think I am crazy… I am perfectly sane… Really!

I am constantly looking at other almost three year olds and wondering what mine would have looked like, what he would have been doing.

I still feel angry sometimes and jealous that other people around me have all their children. But the jealousy and the why me just passes through my mind momentarily. Those feelings no longer fester.

I needed to blame someone, direct my anger somewhere. I screamed and swore at the universe and God. I have a difficulty with my faith at times and many people around me who do believe so strongly. I felt robbed, I felt like my prayers went unanswered, I felt like He deserted me in my time of need…

But there was that moment… One moment that I felt peace, an overwhelming sense of peace… Who could bring that to me with the exception of Him? The peace that told me, whispering silently in my ear… “Don’t worry, she will be in your arms.” While my faith is not fully restored it’s there. I pray again with the belief that someone, somewhere is listening to me.

I have developed a fear… A really huge one as of late. I think I have forgotten how he felt in my arms. I have forgotten how his face looked. I see him in pictures and see his beauty. But those pictures are flat… Jody was not flat, he was just like me. I am forgetting him, my greatest fear… My mind plays tricks on me; I know I will never forget him in the sense that he was here. It’s the fear that over time those moments that I remember will be lost, locked away in my mind. I still ask him to visit me in my dreams; I have yet to remember him in one. I have to believe that soon enough he will answer. I have to be patient, so for now I will concentrate on what I can control.

I will focus on and continue to be in love with my family. They continuously amaze me, and make me laugh. I have a deep sense of gratitude for each one… Last night while I was awake I got to watch each one of the kids sleep, I was thankful for each breath. Sorry that before Jody I took them for granted. I hold them tight when we cuddle, because I know… There is nothing better then those moments.

None of this means that I am healed, that my old life will return…  having Julianna doesn’t means I don’t grieve anymore.  In a sense the grief is deeper, Julianna makes me aware of what’s missing…

So to answer the question… I am in a good place. Not yet accepting Jody’s loss, but feeling at peace with where I am. His passing has brought me so much; I continue to be thankful for him.

Julianna turned one since my last post. Can you believe it? I was thinking about the last year and reflecting about how time has flow. It really has zipped right by and I am trying to remember all of it! Its funny how your little ones grow so fast and I keep thinking that I am going to get that time back!

I wanted to share her celebration with you! She is so stinking cute and was a wee bit overwhelmed having so many people sitting around googling at her! All in all she did great! Actually I wish I could attend a party like her… She took a nappy right in the middle of it!

Here is a peek at her day!

What else is there?

Well the holidays are in full swing and I am having positive thoughts! I am cooking my first thanksgiving dinner! Yes… I am praying that the turkey will be cooked perfectly, people leave stuffed from good food and not ill because it was awful! Someone gave me advice though and I might take it… “Always have a ham on hand as a back-up.” Sounds good to me!

Then there is the thought that I am not so excited about putting up my Christmas tree! There are two things I dread each Christmas:

1: Lugging the 150 lb box out of the garage

2: Spending two days fluffing the damn thing

3: spending another two days decorating it

4. Listening to the kids argue over who’s ordainments is who’s (when generally they are both wrong!)

5. Put all of those in reverse

I guess maybe I should have stopped after two complains because now I am feeling a little stupid. But really! I love the spirit of the holidays, the outpouring of love for those around you. In all reality I have to be honest I have dreaded the last two years of holidays.

I am sure that most people who have followed since Jody can understand but seriously… Break out the pity party because here I come, I can tell myself that this year it will not be the same. I will not have a hardcore pity party that is raging as hard as Saturday night fraternity kegger after finals.

My list above is just the cherry on top of the laundry list of dreads during the holiday season. Now that I have gotten that off my chest I can move on to non-pity party issues…

My butt is clearly shrinking…

Alright, so any mom who has had 4 kids… YES I SAID FOUR (4)… Incase you want to know I am still keeping count like Doctor Seuss… It’s easier in discussion to call them #1, #2, #3 and #4…

Really though, I sent a message to Kim recently to gloat. Why Kim?!?! Well because she is so damn thin and cute I knew she would cheer for me! (And she did!) But that’s beside the point… Since having Julianna I have lost the weight of a small child. I really thought I was going to say the total number but as I have been typing I got a little shy about it.

When I say “small child”, let me quantify… take Joey (my son) subtract 10 pounds and there you have it!

I am almost to my goal and am going to change gears. Forget about losing weight, I am going to go for the gusto and actually go to the gym! Yes I am dead serious! I am talking about walking through the doors not just paying for the membership! Though just paying for the membership does make you feel like your doing something positive!

Let me tell you the best thing though! Joe has decided to join me!!! Plus Jennifer and I are becoming yoga buddies! Obviously I am stoked about that because it does not leave me feeling like I am the only one doing it! (That sounded so high school!)

The Terian House Book…

A few posts back I talked about how overwhelmed I had been. I think those panicked feelings were due to so many things that I could list out, I will spare you the details though… The last several months of my life has just felt like there was too much… I did all that fear conquering stuff with the dentist and the public speaking (or crying), we completed the PKD walk…

Then I created the Terian House Book! Pitiful… Maybe… Here is my though, I am the only one that ends up in “FREAK OUT” mode. When I say that I am being honest. Joe looks at me like I am crazy when start I listing out everything I have to accomplish. My crazy refuses to be scheduled, apparently. It also prefers to choose its own battleground, that’s changing though! Because NOW I am in control… All right my list is. Still thought I am writing the list and saying I am in control makes me feel better!

The whole list thing is good for me. Plus, I get to pat myself on the back for having an abundance of school supplies so I took that trusty little tablet out and started writing. I stopped at page two and Joe said “Oh, my… I see what you are saying!” Hello! He finally got on board! I was no longer on an island of my own having an “Oh SHIT moment”

Now that my freak-out moment is over I am happy to move on… I will be chipping away at my list of things to do slowly. I just do it in an easy, breezy way!

One last thing…

Did you see that super cute fabric pendant that I completed for Julianna’s birthday? Well I did it the morning of (in true Carla fashion) and took picture while going through the process! I will be posting another tutorial shortly! Here is a little picture of it displayed on the table!

Peace be with you all!

Someone told me recently that I have an eye for greatness! Don’t worry… My laugh was contained within and I did refrain from yelling “Idiot” before walking away! Not sure why I started with that other then… It happened today and I was so amused I couldn’t not repeat it! If your one of our facebook friends you might just know what today was…

On to better things as promised…

With being sick for so long I had a ton of time to think about many many things that I could work up to craft and have fun with… The weather is thinking about cooling off and offering us an opportunity to get out. Fall is one of my favorite times!

Jennifer painting...

It’s not often in Arizona that you can sit on the back patio and paint!

With Jennifer’s help I figured out that we NEEDED a fall wreath! So I googled and found one that I could make. Now the one that I could duplicate looked amazing! Either the manufacturer had a fantastic photographer or quite possibly it was the heavy pain medications I had been taking following my surgery! The jury is out, how about you let me know!

So here goes!

Our first tutorial… Fall Wreath….

Items needed:

1. Twig wreath
2. 24 strips of fabric (I used 8 different types) Strips should be about 2’ x 24”
3. Paper to print Fall on
4. Twine
5. Glue gun
6. Felt

This was actually pretty easy…. The worst part was walking away with burns after dancing with the glue gun!

This project Jennifer was my trusty side-kick on!

Meet Iggy!

Before we start giving the details let me get a few pictures up here of the supplies

I found this at Walmart for about $3

Fabric strips

Felt Circles... I used a shot glass to get the perfect size. Obviously I was medicated so none of the good stuff made it into the glass!

Once you have you’re felt pieces cut and ready to roll you can move on to the flower making process… the longest part of this! (Keeping my fingers crossed that I can convey this all correctly!)

To make the rolled flower you will do the following:

Tie a knot at one end of the fabric strip.

Twist the fabric around and roll it around the knot in the center.

Finished product should look like…

Now you will make 24 of these… I did a couple extra just incase! With my 8 different fabrics I completed 4 of each and had 8 extra to make a few headbands for Little Miss!

Once your rolled flowers are complete you have about 10 minutes left!

Choose a starting point and start gluing! You will end up with the about ½ of your wreath covered in the rolled flowers like so!

Now the words FALL… I just took a fun funky printable from the internet, but you could use just about anything. If I had to do this over again I would use fabric for the banner, but I had help on this too! Thanks to Kathy (Joe’s mom) I had four different colors of paper and lots of options to choose from! She was so kind to print these up for me!

Using the paper I cut a triangle (leaving enough room at the top to roll over the twine) and slapped the banner on it! I am sorry I spaced taking pictures for this part!

For my first project it turned out pretty cute and is currently hanging on our front door!

Our next tutorial (Jennifer’s decision!) is how to make a Tutu! We made our first ever and it turned out pretty cute! With Julianna turning 1 on Sunday I have a good reason to make another one! Keep your eyes peeled! Jennifer and I have turned it into a contest “whose is cuter?” she will be making one and so will I! It’s sure to be fun!

Wow… Well my previous post talked about how overwhelmed I was. And while I am still overwhelmed we have two of our biggest things under our belt. But also after quite some time of being ill I am on my way to being better.

So my question is… where to start?

Over the last two months I have been so very ill… just three weeks ago I had my tonsils out and am feeling much better today!

Me recovering the day of surgery... Picture taken by little Joey! They all loved it... I could not talk!

After getting my tonsils out I believe if I had known how bad this would be I would have never done it. But am so glad I did, honestly after my list visit to the hospital and my previous blood draw (where I thought they would drain me dry!) I feared something was truly wrong. Joe and I looked at each other with total fear as the I asked the lady doing the draw why it was so extensive… She said “they are preparing incase you need  a blood match for a transfusion.”

Wow… take those puppies out!

(Written October 27, 2011)

The majority of this post was written on October 20^th… Before the wheels fell off!!! Figuratively not literally! On the day of Jody’s walk in the Annual PKD walk I started feeling ill. While it was not going to stop me from walking it did impact our start of the day and the remainder of the week. Throughout the week it had progressively gotten worse, but I never would have believed that it was as bad as it was.

So I spent 5 days in the hospital, trying to mend and really start the road to feeling better. This time I am serious!

Gilbert Mercy… (Written October 20, 2011)

We had talked about it a couple posts ago… but we were invited to speak at Gilbert Mercy in their remembrance ceremony. We jumped at the chance! The hospital celebrated October 15^th  on Friday the 14^th which is my birthday… I got to do something AMAZING! Stand behind the podium and cry!

You think I am kidding?!?! Well, I’m not! Right after we were asked I wrote my “Speech”, I read and re-read that thing with the thought by the time I get there, emotions would no longer exist. I thought I could train myself to believe these were just word on paper!

The floodgates opened as soon as Nurse Dana turned around… Here is the thing though… Joe and I have always said we compliment each other so well when it comes to Jody. You never know when that moment will hit! But throughout the last two and a half years when one of us was weak, the other was strong.

I wish I could have sat in the audience and listened to Joe as he read my words and his! He was fabulous… as he concluded I asked him “where did you find your strength?” his response “I don’t know!”

I was so proud of him and how he delivered our message… Myself somewhat embarrassed. It does hold true that the loss of a child is something you just don’t “get over”. It’s not something that in time your emotions dwindle. The anger, resentment and the questions do take a back burner, but loss never leaves.

During one of the planning meetings Dana talked about a candle similar to that of a unity candle that would be used during the ceremony. Joe and I offered to purchase a candle that could be used year after year, we felt when this ceremony takes place silently the candle would sit and through that evening in the simplest way Jody’s fire could continue to burn.

Here are a few pictures..

A beautiful poem posted at sign in...

Us creating Jody's square for the quilt...

The tree before sunset...

Joe and I talking with Nurse Dana and Tim, Mercy Gilberts CEO

During the ceremony

Butterfly release

Me with my butterfly... He would not fly out of the garden...

The beautiful candle...

PKD Walk…

Last year we made a conscious decision not to participate in the Annual PKD Walk. Julianna was born just a few weeks later and things were a little too tense to really concentrate on the walk.

This year Team Jody showed up! And again there was the sea of baby blue shirts! We were so thankful to participate! We felt so good as we walked with our friends and family. We even had some last minute additions!

Joined by old friends whom we have lost touch with, friends and of course our loving we felt surrounded with love.

Now I have to point a few facts out… Just because Joe is always so proud! Team Jody was #1 in the state for fundraising and we appeared to be the largest team of walkers! Toot Toot!!!

Here is something even better… PKD the dominant form is rampant in families; Jody’s condition being recessive is not as common, it’s 1 in 40,000. Since Jody there have been three families in the Phoenix area that I know of who are affected by ARPKD. The strange thing is all of these people are facebook friends… one of them lives within walking distance of our house. On Sunday we met face-to-face.

All of us...

Sareena Dominguez... Beautiful singer was part of the opening and entertainment at the finish line...

Joey... King of the rock!

Grandma & Grandpa Terian

Joey & Julianna

Nurse Pam (we have talked about her before) told me recently that BLM (babyloss Mommas) are as thick as thieves.  Now she did not use that analogy exactly I am really summing it up. She did say that there is no connection that compares to that of two mothers who have lost children. There is an unspoken understanding and a softness that is instantaneous among them.  Alright, not her exact words… (Pam correct me if I misspoken in anyway!).

Look forward to our next post… it will be a tutorial on how to make a fall wreath!

I know, it’s one of those things that between balancing work, kids, life, social obligations and everything else in between it seems like it is the parting of the Red Sea, or better yet it caving in around me!

Yes I know it seems like everyone has it together. Like it’s so easy, honestly I would like to curl up in bed until my life stops spinning. Maybe, just maybe that would give me an opportunity to breath! Here is a great example, I just returned home from a week of work in Nashville and I find myself flat on my back with body aches, sore throat, etc, etc…

So here is the skinny… or the down and dirty… I have been MIA. Joe says I repeat this too often on here, but honestly there is no time. I have too many irons, simply stated I am just one person. In taking strides to figure out where my efforts are best placed I really have to sit back and re-evaluate where I need to focus. Really doing a half-ass job at everything is just not in me. I have gotten involved in so many support groups geared to the babyloss community. It’s important, I believe in my heart, but even more important I can’t continue to run myself ragged…

For a while I might just be MIA not just on a blog level, on a personal level. I don’t say it lightly, but my concentration and efforts need to be placed on matters that go beyond life, social obligations and hobbies… It needs to be on me and without saying it work!

Until further notice… I leave you with this…

Please add three precious babies to your prayer list. Just ask for healing…

Mareigha – Wesley – Jilead

I can not personally tell you anything about them, other then that 2 are in someway related to us… and the 2nd is a very special man’s grand-daughter. It’s never easy to reach out and ask for that support, and often times families don’t know how. I know we didn’t. We just closed our doors, curtains and any other thing possible.

Lastly…. They are damn cute!!! (The kids!!!)

Her hair is always that fuzzy! She will be my twin from the eyebrows up! (taking bets on that one)

Julianna is not a “momma’s Girl” or a “Daddy’s Girl” she is a “Sissy’s Girl” she will knock either of us over to get to Jennifer.

In getting everything ready for the PKD walk and really working hard on our Team Jody stuff.  We knew we were going to need to contact Keith.  He is the wonderful man who designed our first Jody shirt.  Sure enough he has accepted the job of designing this year’s Jody shirts too! I will post them shortly! He did a fantastic job!!!

For those of you who have not seen the shirts… This is what our last walk shirt looked like!

I told him I would be sending over a new photo of Jody. I always have to be prepared when I open the disk’s that has all of Jody’s images. The task of sending the picture is not a difficult one, you load the image and you send it, right?  It’s looking at the disk’s that can be difficult.  The images are of such a difficult time, but also an insanely beautiful moment in our lives as well.

Each time we venture on and look around there are such moments of sadness, because as strange as it seems, we lived through our loss. Those images remind of us of moments of sadness, but those are good moments to have. I found a few pictures I loved of Mr. Precious.

I am sure I have seen these before, but this time I placed the images on my computer. I so love some of these…

It was so special that Katie had come for Easter... She got to meet Jody...

I so love this one... I have mentioned his feet before. They were so soft...

So with that being said last weekend with everyone ill we had that weekend I had been dreaming of. Granted it was not exactly the weekend I wanted but I had NEEDED a weekend with nothing. We did spend a ton of time lounging around the house in our jammies and just taking it easy. Plus we ate a lot of food that is really “not the best for you” !  Really, sick people should be having soup, broth and maybe some crackers… In our house we say maybe will try a different approach! On Friday when I stopped at the store for Kleenex , cold medication and a few other necessities including the ingredients needed for this yummy dessert jumped in the cart too!

Each person in our house took part in doing something to help make this delicious project… I did not think to take picture while we were making it, but here is what’s left!

This tasty treat is not so great for you, but we have been telling ourselves it helps cure sickness….  Maybe not, but it really does taste great!!!

Ahhh… Miss Lindsay

Well the month of July was quite transitional for us in terms of Miss Julianna. The gal that was her sitter had to leave with short notice, so we had a little bit of juggling to do…. We needed to string together a few interim sitters to make sure we could keep rolling.  Thanks to Miss Melissa for jumping in, rolling up her sleeves and taking fabulous care of the kids with virtually no notice and then Miss Spenser for bridging the gap… It was several weeks of interviews until we found Miss Lindsay and we are so happy we found her.

Julianna lights up when she comes in to the house and you can tell they just love each other.

But there is something about Miss Lindsay that’s different or better yet special.  When we hired her she was given the task of taking care of Julianna.  What we have found is she takes great care of everyone in the house.  Every single one of us has been positively impacted by having her with us. We are so very blessed to have hired her.

Joey can’t wait until it get cooler so that she can pick him up from school and Jennifer has found a wonderful friend in her. It’s great to see the kids engaged and enjoying her so much.

(So I had taken a few pictures of Lindsay & Julianna… and I am an awful photographer, but these for Julianna were too cute. I could not not share!)

Thirsty Thursdays

Alright I had talked about Thirsty Thursday or maybe Sunday Fun-days and I am getting on to that! Seriously…  Work has been quite busy so I am gearing up for my last trip of the year in a few weeks here. But the work that goes along with it has been keeping me up at night.

Needless to say it will be nice to have a mild break in long hours and be able to make dinner or experiment with a new beverage!

The slimmer trimmer Terian’s…

It seems like I am the only one on board with this idea right now. I am sure at any moment Joe is going to say “alright I will eat that bell pepper!” Ha ha ha… Ok, I know that will never happen, but possibly a tasty salad…

Having two babies in two years has wreaked havoc on my waste line. I am not a small person to begin with and weight has always been an issue I try to stay ahead of. Put two pregnancies back to back and you have me! I keep trying to drop the extra few lbs but honestly, I think the extra pounds have come to love me. They are rather attached!

Going with the healthier mindset… roasted veggies are wonderful. (That’s what I keep telling myself.  Kind of like Dorothy “There’s no dinner like roasted veggies, There’s no dinner like roasted veggies!!)

So Sad…

Jennifer is so sweet; we say that all the time! But this past week her best friend officially moved. I can honestly say she was so hopeful when they kept pushing the move back a week here and a week there. However, Saturday morning her friend’s family loaded up the truck and dropped her off for the last time.

The girls were so wonderful together. Jennifer and Tina together is that rare “no drama” girl’s duo that you just don’t see with girls in Jr. High. To be quite honest we are going to miss Tina just as much if not more!

She was our 6^th (including the lovely and talented Sareena Dominguez) child, the one that when we were camping, going out of town or just about anything else she would pack-up her bag and come too!

The positive thing… They are going back to California! A place that we love and try to go to once in awhile ourselves so we will planning on seeing her there! And Tina will be joining us for the PKD Foundation walk on Team Jody!!!

FOOTBALL….

I am not a sports fan, but I am working on it! Tomorrow we have our friends coming to do a draft for Fantasy Football! We are way behind because honestly my head has been stuck in this computer for the last three weeks.

The funny thing about our teams… The names!  At least some of the names from last year.  Some wonderful examples, “The Silver Platters” (ie: Brady Bunch), “Mod Squad”, “Pink Ladies”, “T-birds”, “Ricky Williams Supplier”,  “Assault Rifles”, etc.  I guess I should say one of my favorite parts of playing the FF… Is that sometimes I get to beat Joe! Alright, maybe I should be honest. I don’t think that I beat him once last year, but this year I am not going to pick the same! I am now a salty veteran with one year of experience at selecting my “team”, I’m gonna stay low and move fast! (Or at least that’s what I will be telling myself tomorrow!)

I am such a poor FF player… I have yet to research my “picks”, I am more interested in adult beverage selections!!!

So I am considering making this yummy treat for us ladies….

Happy Hour: Berry Sangria

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup crème de cassis
• 1 1/2 cups mixed berries such as raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries
• 1 (750-ml) bottle chilled rose wine
• 2 tsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 bottle club soda
• Mint leaves (for garnish)

Instructions

1. Mix all ingredients (except mint leaves and club soda) and let soak in the fridge for a couple of hours
2. Right before you serve, add 1/2 cup club soda
3. Pour over ice, garnish with a mint leaf, and enjoy!

Once I make it I will let you know how it goes and maybe post some pictures!

Peace be with you all!

I will try to update more often…

Gosh where to start?

Me personally I have been pretty busy with life, work, and lots of other things. But really none of that matters… Other then I have grown UP!!!!

Wanna know how? Here goes…

I think naturally when a parent loses a child they are really sensitive to things and are just down right frightened of loss. That describes me to a tee, though I am not that “don’t touch my kid” germ frightened mom… I am the holy shit, worst-case scenario mom! SIDS, dry drowning, choking, peanuts… the list could go on and on.

With Julianna I have broken all the good parenting rules, my previous rules. Always #1 was – Never sleep with your baby… Well I have had for the last 8 months our precious Julianna so close to me all the time.  I figured it was in her best interest to let me grow up! So I did… She has been in her crib for the last 7 days or so and for the last 4 nights she has slept through the night!

I guess most mom’s would be skipping and singing with happiness, but I am a little bit different this time around… I miss those moments with just her! In the middle of the night it’s the best time to hang-out and enjoy! Obviously it was time, because now she sleeps later then I do!

We are excited…

Team Jody has been formed!!! We have a pretty substantial team of walkers, all who we love dearly!

We have been greatly affected by PKD, and it is an honor to walk with people who are affected by the disease. To know that they over come so many hurdles in life and still continue to thrive…

I am looking forward to meeting several families that we have connected with in the last couple of years. Not to mention we were quite the sea of baby blue last year! You could find a Team Jody member throughout the crowd!

Oh and another thing… Yesterday Joe & I were asked by the beloved Nurse Dana to speak at Gilbert Mercy hospital during their Infant Loss ceremony. This year October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a special day to many parents who mourn the loss of a child at any stage due to miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant.

The big kicker… October 14^th is my birthday, when Joe told Dana there was a hint of hesitation in her voice… But little did she know that speaking about Jody would be the best birthday gift EVER! I would never miss the opportunity to remember him in such an amazing place… The ceremony will take place in the healing garden at Gilbert Mercy. It’s such a beautiful location that inhabits a sense of peace… I could not think of a better stage…

We will keep you posted on the details…

Swimming…

When Joey was little we did not have a blog or I would have blogged about this on his behalf. In fact Joey has been swimming since he was two. Now Julianna is about to graduate from swim lessons! Whoot Whoot!!! I know I hate to brag, but really… These are not just any swimming lessons, they are survival lessons.

Take a look at the video, Mrs. Colleen is just amazing. She was Joey’s instructor too! Although Joey took a little longer to graduate, we are so happy that we have Julianna practicing water safety at such a young age.

On to other things..

I have been crafting! Here are a couple of pictures of thing I will be posting on my etsy site soon… Don’t forget to check it out, I will post as soon as my photographer gets on top of taking the pictures… (ummm… Joe!)

Things for Kim’s friend…

Here are a few others…

Here are a few just because pictures…

I know I don’t talk about this often on here, but holy smokes… Who watches Big Brother? (Kim don’t respond to this!)

Joe and I started watching last season and the first few episodes we felt like idiots… Really are these challenges that they do that tough? We realized that in order to continue watching we would need to shut down about ¾ of our brain power during the show.  Completing that task we continued to watch last year. As the season went we found that we grew fond of one player or another, or just have a true distaste for others…

Back to this season! Really… So I post this question those who watch… Why the hell did they bring Rachael & Brendon back?

Last night while watching Joe and I had some great laughs at their expense…. So I thought I should write Brendon a note based on Joe’s advice…

Dearest Brendon,

Oh gosh, where do I start? I think that after two seasons on Big Brother I have gotten to know you pretty well. Quite frankly, you irritate me… But honestly you do offer entertainment and many laughs at your own expense!

You cry more then a 12 year-old girl with Bieber fever, seriously… Do people really talk the way you do to Rachael or are you reading from a BB script. It cracks me up! I am so happy that she decided to take you back after those naughty pictures were announced last year.

Sorry… let me get on with the advice…

When the words “You shouldn’t marry me.” “I am crazy” comes from the mouth of your fiancé you should RUN for your life!!! When I say RUN, I am serious. Get the hell out of there.  Seriously, It’s not like one of her friends said it and you can’t be sure if the information is valid, again SHE TOLD YOU!

I can understand from your perspective though, Rachael is entertaining. Honestly, as I am writing this I think more and more you two might just be meant for each other. You are two peas in a pod.

Vomit… I cannot believe I just said that.

In closing, I would just like to make one point. I will be praying that you do not get back in the house with the “new twist” that was reveled last night. I am so glad you were ousted and Jordan stayed. As the season goes on I like her and Jeff more and more.

Signed,

Concerned viewers…

P.S. Rachael is pretty crazy… If you could do me one final favor, give some other players a chance… America already hates Rachael, don’t come back!