Dear Jody,


It’s been 8 years… There are days I sit and think about holding you and there are those other days where I feel like it was the life of a whole different person. I can’t remember the weight of you in my arm. I don’t remember what you felt like.

I never thought I would be that mom who had to remember her son who died. Or that there would be this emptiness I had to struggle with for the rest of my life. There have been times I ached to be with you. To just know as your mom I did everything I could for you. To know you were not in pain, that you felt the love that surrounded you the day you left us. I think about the anguish in Uncle Mitch’s cries as he stood at the foot of the hospital bed holding you… He could barley stand… At the time I didn’t think about it. You had just died and we were all there to just accept what time you had and to love you. Now, I watch the video Angelina made… the images take me back to the moments where you were the most important thing. Where I waited, praying you would be born alive… Praying your sister could meet you…

I tell people you are my greatest gift. Your brother and sisters have each individually taught me so much. My biggest lessons as a mother have come from you and ironically some of the largest life lessons were formed while I carried you… and later after you died.

8 years later Jody, I am still so very thankful for you. I am grateful to have been your mom. You were my miracle and you will always be my son. My love for you does not waver… Over the years I don’t talk about you as much in terms of your loss. I have gotten to the point where I can talk about you as though you were here and you lived because you did.

The most beautiful thing is that you continue to live through your brother and sisters. Julianna talks about you all the time. Nearly everyday… She is always a reminder. At times I get frustrated when she wants to look at your things. She sits next to your chest touching everything in it. The first time I showed her I panicked when she touched your blankets, hugged the bears and coughed so close to your locks of hair. Now though, her excitement and the way she admires the tangible things that were yours is so special. When she holds your outfit against her chest and remarks about how small you were I smile. You weren’t small…. You weren’t large… You were simply perfect with the softest feet, amazing lips, my nose with a sweet little smush and when you grabbed my pinky your hand wrapped it tightly…

Happy Birthday in heaven sweet Jody! I will always celebrate you and cherish the small window of time we were given to love you. This year I am celebrating being your mom even more so then other years. As I close my eyes and breathe in the smell of orange blossoms in the air I can feel you with me. The smell reminds me each and every year of you.

This year give me a gift! Come visit me in my dreams so I can hold you…

I love you for always…

Mom

Some gifts only God can give.


Dear Jennifer,

Eighteen years ago you came into my life. I wasn’t trying to be a mom, I didn’t have any idea about being a mom. But I could never fimage1orget the first time I held you in my arms. I loved you even more from that moment. I taught you to believe in yourself… and look at you today! You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young lady with wings spread so wide.

In you I see all my hopes and dreams. And as you naimg_0042vigate the phases of life, I watch you dream big and work hard to achieve them. I watch you create memories with more friends than acquaintances. I watch you hold your standards high without compromise.

As you grow into adulthood, my heart is filled with great joy because there is no question you’ll follow the song in your soul. And you’ll have the courage to grab every opportunity that comes your way.

Life will never be easy but it is too short to wake up with regrets. So remember that genuine success comes from true fulfillment and happiness. It is however, without doubt I know you have the strength to persevere, and the confidence to take you through this journey called life.

But Jennifer, today I have to tell you my heartaches. I am anticipating the moment you leave, because you are my forever person. You are etched in my heart so differently then anyone, you’ve impacted me in so many ways.

What You Have Taught Me, Jennifer:

  • img_0043You taught me unconditional love.  As parents, we discover unconditional love when we have a baby. This love is a fiery protective, all-encompassing love I developed for you soon after you were born. What really has astounded me is your unconditional love for me.  I have messed up time and again as your Mom — sometimes in the BIG TIME ways that sink my heart and leave me thinking, “Oh crap, I’ve really blown this whole parenting deal.”  Yet you still love me and forgive me without question. You have taught me about God’s east-to-west forgiveness for me. Thank you.
  • You taught me perseverance. I have watched you struggle img_5891through challenges most adults would buckle under the weight of carrying. Life as the oldest kid in our house is not easy. We have serious issues that go on here, and as the oldest you become first mate to my piloting many times! You manage with grace. You’ve had personal and emotional issues you haven’t denied but faced head on. I see your hard work and am so proud of your determination.
  • You taught me joy. You have a zany laugh and the most beautiful smile! From you I’ve learned a quiet person can be an extrovert. I would want you in my life even if you weren’t my daughter, because you are one gorgeous woman. You shine light.

So today as your mother I can say I did it! You are this wonderful woman because of me. I know though, that you are your very own person and I am so proud of you. Happy 18th Birthday to you my wonderful daughter!

Love you always and forever…

Mom

February brings sorrow…


It was 7 years ago on this day, February 4th I received the worst news imaginable. After weeks of bed rest, praying and bargaining there was no hope. Jody would be born, most likely he would be sleeping… I would never have the opportunity to be his mom. To hold him… I remember driving out of the parking lot of the doctors office so hysterical I couldn’t drive.

And moments later sitting at the park with Jennifer explaining that even though we thought things would be ok… that her brother would die. I have sat and had coffee at that same picnic table for the last 6 years alone. Recalling those moments of sadness. The early years that followed I did so in a way to mourn him… To cry without judgment…

Its these days that I sit back and feel humbled by Jody being in my life. I don’t know how to explain it but I have believed that I was chosen to be Jody’s mom. The why’s I could never answer…. maybe because my heart is strong enough to hold on to the hope that his spirit was chosen for me to celebrate and learn from. To know that in the days, weeks and months I carried him knowing he would die I would be required to embrace the fact that my job was not to nurture his earthly form… it has been my job to love him despite not knowing him as a person, to love him beyond the relationship and attachments that are formed when we raise our children….

I honestly don’t know what I am trying to convey… I do know that today is a day that most people will walk not knowing that 7 years ago I learned the hardest lesson of my life…

In some cases it is what it is… We do not have a choice, there is nothing we can do to fight for a change. We can embrace the role we have been chosen for and walk forward not knowing where the path will take us. But knowing that in life there are some things that are out of our control.

The realization that no amount of anger, hatred, bitterness, begging, pleading, bargaining, praying, sadness or resolve will change the outcome.

On this day 7 years ago I had a precious life growing in me… his weight I remember was 16 oz, his heart rate was perfect and he wiggled as the doctor told me he would die… He kicked when termination was offered…

In that moment all 16 oz of his little person told me… I am here… Without hope from anyone… You will keep me alive.

In 7 years this has been my hardest task. To keep a child I loved and prayed for in my heart without being given the opportunity to be his mom, to hold him and love him the way I do the other kids.

I have learned many things though him… The biggest has been as it was stated so clearly by Dr. Wolfson “It is what it is.”

I look back and for that simple lesson I am thankful I was chosen to be Jody’s momma… To love a child long since forgotten by many… To know his spirit walks with me even though his earthly form no longer exists…

So today… I hope you will hug your children tight and know that in and of itself is a gift that many people do not have.

Dear Jennifer


IMG_20150508_112301_resized

Tomorrow you are turning 17 years old. I’ve sat reflecting for days about you and it seems like it was yesterday that you entered this world. I remember holding you for the first time. You, my sweet precious, toddler size baby. You held my fingers with your little hand and I thought… Wow, I did this!

IMG_20150912_181432When you entered my world, I learned about new relationships; the meanings they held. There are so many things I want to share with you – I don’t know where or when our relationship changed, but I always envisioned it different. I always thought we could sit and talk. I still pray each day that as we age you will see that you are the one thing that happened in my life that changed everything for the better. You offered me a purpose, a drive to be different… I wanted to be the person you would look up to your entire life.

So… Today I want to share certain things with you. Because I know we are changing, as you grow, you want less and less time with me. I have less time to offer you lessons and advice. As your mom, sometimes I wonder if I am doing a good job. Then I have the opportunity to look at who you are and I’m humbled by who you are.

To begin with, I want you to be and do whatever your heart wishes. Remain true to yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not to satisfy other people’s expectations. Living in the world we do we are often forced to wear different masks. Its overtime we begin to mistake those masks for the faces we had hidden in the past. Don’t let this happen to you!

I think the hardest lesson I had to learn was that no one owes me anything. So always remember that no one owes you. Its because there is something special in you that has touched someone’s heart and brought them immense joy that people love you. And from now on, persistently try to find in you that special something and through recognizing and appreciating it, allow it to grow so that more love and friendship comes you way.

Open your heart to goodness. No matter what happens, don’t let negative people or 2015-11-16 09.36.41_resizedthought take hold of you. The world is a beautiful place. But there are things that make it seem harsh…. You are made of love… follow your heart; and listen to your head. You always have a choice. You will be confronted with the choice between being an optimist or a pessimist…. Choose one, but choose wisely!

You can’t let the child in you die. As long as you nurture the child within you , you will find happiness and joy in life.

In everything… there is a purpose. Its in the people we meet and then things that come into your lives. Whatever falls your way, always try to find the purpose behind them. Find the space in your heart and mind to learn a new lesson from every purpose. If you find your close to failing with something you’ve started… ask for help from those around you! The one who realizes that he is ignorant, is ignorant no more.

I read somewhere once that every man’s life is a fairy tale written by God’s fingers. There will be times in your life when you think this is not true, you will feel that life is too hard to be a fairy tale. Its in those moments, I want you to remember that fairy tales contain wonder and beauty but also a few bad things. Each one contains some sort of unpleasantness. The trick is to conquer this slowly. But before conquering those external forces; conquer the monsters hiding in your own heart. This reality for me has been my biggest struggle. Letting go of what binds our hearts that is unhealthy…

IMG_20150630_062924_resizedBe bold, be brave and believe in the power of your dreams. Its your dreams, ambitions and your heart that will continue to push your life to the place you want it. Embrace what’s broken and move forward knowing yourself.

My dear sweet Jennifer, I love you. Who you are and I am so excited to see who you will become. My heart is open and I cannot wait to experience the world through you as you continue to become an even more amazing woman.

Always close,

Your mom

I need a glass of wine!


images

Hatred…

Where do I start on this one? I couldn’t begin to tell you the whole story on how Joe and I ended nearly 3 years ago… Or everything that lead up to it… About the control and abuse… about resentment that builds and is so difficult, but not impossible to overcome.

Resentment was the catalyst in my decision to ask for a divorce. The closest description to what my marriage was is… Death by paper cuts. Joe was 12 years older then myself and at first it didn’t make a difference. Or so I thought… But years later sitting back I know everything started in the beginning. He started obsessing, drove me to and from work everyday… all sorts of things… yet I never realized it. I liked that he was different and even when it did bother me I didn’t say anything.

Resentment grew… I sought individual counseling and went to Joe trying to deploy the tactics I was taught… I failed. I learned I was pregnant with Jody… One of the hardest things I will ever admit is that in the beginning of my pregnancy I didn’t want any of it. I cried because I felt like I was stuck. Then the fatal announcement… Joe and I grew closer in many ways and further apart in other ways. After that the focus on Julianna took over the issues in our marriage.

It never changed though. It was always masked by smiles and false appearances of happiness. Don’t get me wrong there were happy times. I loved being with family and with friends.

THEN IT HAPPENED…

There came the realization that I had so much resentment built up that no matter what I would never allow Joe to fix it. Something would always be wrong. It took years…. Years of smothering… suffocation… isolation…

I asked for a divorce. Not the first time… and not the last time but I did finally say I was done. I just couldn’t take it. I need space to breath. I needed to be able to sit with friends and just be myself… without the pressure of “what did I say wrong this time.”

My description is so minimal…

THE REAL STORY…

As much resentment as I had, I wholeheartedly believe that Joe had more. He hated the fact that I couldn’t love him the way I loved my kids, the way he needed to be loved. In other words… neither Joe nor I had grown enough individually or together to be the person that the other one needed.

WOW! I guess it happens… I think sometimes there are attachments and issues in marriages we cannot overcome. At the same time the task of separating from the other person is astronomical. You’ve been married for 10+ years with kids, a house, cars, financial obligations, campers, boats, friends, family, neighbors… what would happen and WTF would everyone think?

bad_ex_quotes

UNHAPPY?!?!

There is unhappy and there is unhappily attached to the wrong person. I honestly think that when we were married Joe’s focus was on me. What’s happened over the course of our separation and divorce? I did the worst thing I could do. I unattached myself from Joe, the one thing he held so tightly to.

So what did I get? An angry, bitter, mess of a person who will stop at nothing to make things difficult for the kids and me. A person who will take… take and take… more and more each and every time. A man who has no pride to walk away with the knowledge in the divorce he got everything of value, he left with substantially less debt, he left with a business that was untouched… he left with me paying him. Paying child support… my pride and most of all I pay every day for the decision to divorce him.

ANGER?!?!

The hardest thing for me was to let go of my anger towards him… I can’t tell you how many times I have said, “he’s actually not a bad person.” “hes just very angry”, “honestly he was always so different”, “I do still love Joe”, “I think if I am patient he will be the person I always believed he was.”

77969c3384f54107feac5ad9b5163ea5

I realize none of those things are true. I try so hard to hate him for what he does to my family. But hate can never over power pity…

PITY BECAUSE…

I’ve learned over time that Joe is afraid to let go. There’s a fantasy in his head and he’s hanging onto it. He’s trying to justify his rage and suffering… he will do it long enough for me to realize how I hurt him, how badly I made him feel. And maybe, just maybe I might feel even worse then he does. I realize he is so afraid to let go of his anger because in some twisted, sick way it keeps him connected to me.

He is angry… he is trying to make me pay for his suffering. However, he is suffering because after all this time he can’t emotionally divorce me. While I have detached myself from him he has yet to detach himself from me.

He is arrogant to a point, but does not have the courage to look me in the face. He can’t speak to me without cowering in a corner because the reality is that in the big picture he lost.

He lost his pride… In two suicide attempts, one of which he really should have died… In me paying him child support… in believing I am here today to pay him because he made me the way I am. Ugh… Well there is more. But for today… I have to say this…9e9c3ddf06c6d8896bedf9729e4d515d

COURAGE…

It took enormous courage to walk away from Joe, to detach myself from him physically and emotionally. When I let go of the anger I allowed new things in my life. I allowed myself what I deserved… Love, comfort, friendship and the knowledge that I can do this myself, without him and the ability to show my kids what healthy life is.

REMEMBER…

I have a post it note in my bedside table… a passage from a book and forgive me because I have no idea what the name was… but I’ve memorized it over the last several years…

We rely on this emotion to preserve the very dignity and integrity of ourselves. Anger is not a bad or negative emotion. It can take great courage to admit and express anger. But it requires just as much courage to free yourself from the corrosive effects of living too long with anger and bitterness…. A challenge that may include forgiveness but it does not require it.

I forgave him… and I forgave myself…

Dear Jody,


You would be 6 years old today! Can you believe that, it’s been 6 years since I got to smell that beautiful scent on your hair and to touch those soft little feet.

I can remember specific things about the day you were with me … it’s the things that have been missed or left behind in my memories that wear on me. I keep thinking I should remember EVERYTHING. Each moment… nothing should be lost. That accounts for so much… Memories, you…

This would have been a BIG year for you! You would have started Kindergarten. On the first day of school as I walked Joey to his class I looked at those little kids with their parents and questioned if they knew what they had. I was missing celebrating your next step in life. I was missing you.

It’s the 4th year I’ve missed your birthday. As I sit here writing there is a sea of people. All gathered talking… No one realizing what today is, what today means or that the smile on my face is just there for their benefit.

Jody, every piece of me screaming wishing you were here… Each year things change so much. We grow… there’s the ebb and flow of regular life. People come in and people leave. But the constant is always your family… Brothers, sisters, mom and dad…. It’s the knowledge that you’re supposed to be my constant that gets to me. When I lay down with Julianna I wonder what you would have been like. I see her and think that life could be so different if you were still here.

So today… as I close my eyes I will not fight back tears. I will invite you to celebrate with me. Because I know you are here as I celebrate quietly.

Happy Birthday sweet boy… I hope your heavenly family is making you a pancake breakfast and celebrating how special you are.

I love your forever, your always in my heart and your never far from my thoughts.

Mommy

Well… Its out there!


Jody’s birthday came and went this year without a post. I survived his due date, Good Friday… Christmas was the hardest. I know it was six months ago, but there’s a point I have to get to here.

CHANGE

1005704_536393479753925_1027183053_nOur lives are always changing, revolving and morphing into something else. Children and parents grow and change, we go through seasons of closeness, seasons of dismay.

I’ve been quite on here. Not because I don’t have anything to say. Things are different now. Joe and I fell into that statistic of parents who lose a child that get divorced. I know!!! You’re all surprised. EVERYONE was surprised. The two people that had it all together, planned all the events, parties, trips… the ones who on the surface seemed so perfect.

When a relationship breaks, sometimes there is nothing that can fix it. And unfortunately that is what happened with Joe and I. Things were broken, not beyond repair… It got there though. I had this naïve thought that we worked so well together in all aspects except husband and wife. So of course we would go on working together so well as parents to our children. Well, my friends that hasn’t happened.

This Place

Here in this space… It was once a place where I could come and ramble. Share my thoughts without conviction. As people we mourn so often, divorce is a loss. The relationship, the hopes of what there could have been… I love Joe, not loved… I still wholeheartedly love Joe for the life we had. There were years of unhappiness with some fun and joy muddled in there. The good moments are what allowed the unhappy times to be pushed back.

In divorce there is not one person that’s a victim, there is fault around every turn. As a husband, a wife, a son, a daughter… we all lose. There is not one thing that makes it good.

I have been so afraid to post. Afraid of what I wonder… I don’t know. Divorce is failing, could it be that possibly it’s a tough thing to admit? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know.

My new place

I have this nIMG_7710ew place. A place that Jennifer and I call home full time. A place that Joey and Julianna call home 50% of the time. In this place there is happiness, laughter and a renewed relationship with all of us. I didn’t realize in all the years I didn’t have “individual” relationships with my kids. The last 11 months have been priceless in getting to re-know the kids. Watching them grow through the tragedy of divorce.

There are new friends, old friends, new things and old things… All of these shape what’s next for us. We don’t know.

For me, Carla. I am in a place where I am happy. I have my moments when sadness creeps in. There are times I feel defeated. But the most important thing is that for the first time in a long time I am in a happy place. At home I can relax, do the things I enjoy and take moments to get to know myself as an individual again.

I have lost, relationships with family. Does that change anything? No, there is no difference in the what/who they are to me today vs. two years ago. Frustration does not change the fact that I care about them.

I have learned somethings along the way… I deserve to be loved the way that I need to be. That passion and fulfillment in a relationships is important. Most important though… You can’t change who you are for someone else, you have to be loved wholly and purely as an individual. So from here on out my heart is open to experiencing new things and I have come to embrace the change no matter how difficult it was to get here.

Dearest Jody,


It’s been so long it seems. I haven’t written, not because I don’t want to but more so because I haven’t made the time. It seems like since you I have not gotten my head wrapped around normal and lets be honest… It’s an epic fail on my part. You would be 3.5 years old (just amazing to think of by the way) and I can’t quite get myself together enough to organize life, home and work.

I have been feeling so guilty about not writing and blogging. I wonder if people think that I have forgotten you. If adding Julianna and every other thing in life has pushed your memory to the back burner. Like “She went and had another baby and forgot about Jody.” Which is and is not the case. I don’t know how to explain it… the guilt that goes along with you is immeasurable.

In some ways I have moved on, of course I would never forget about you and think of you each day. But I guess as hard as it is I feel like my directions have changed. I don’t spend nearly as much time with parents and families in the baby loss community and have pulled away from many of the groups I was previously involved in. Not out of any disrespect to you in any way whatsoever, but because life does move forward. As people we grow and change.

This realization makes me feel like an awful person, and sometimes I miss being sad, miss being focused on you, but on the other side… I don’t. I have struggled with this and know that it’s something that I have to let go of… there is always guilt. Guilt over you not being here, guilt because I’m happy, guilt for not dwelling on your loss as much.

But here is what I do know. I know that you are with me, I see it often. Perfect example was one day this summer we were heading out to the lake. It was on the 10th and I looked at my I have my very own angel shirt and quickly put it back in the drawer. Again guilt over not remembering to wear it on the 10th I felt like it was a good reason. Sitting in the car I had read several posts from your YouTube video and had remorse over not checking it and responding more often. I made a mental note to think about it when I had more time.

Anyway, that day on the lake there were butterflies. When I say butterflies I don’t mean 1 or 2 but swarms of them. Even Mrs. C commented on them, she was taken by the number of them that were out. Me, I knew that was my sign that was you saying “Mom, its okay I know you remember me, I’m always near.”

So with that I will say… Jody, I miss you each and every day. Even though the pain is not as deep and things have gotten easier. I love you dearly; you are part of me and who I am.

I miss you…

Love Mommy

P.S. I leave you with this picture… by Joey when we were just in CA for Thanksgiving. He said he is thankful for YOU!

Image

Three plus one!


 
That is what Jody is today, 3 years and 1 day!
 
Now I haven’t sat down and wrote a blog in I don’t know how long. A year? A year and a half? I could look it up but it really doesn’t matter. Thank God that Carla usually steers this ship. Over the last two days I have had a tidal wave of emotion wash over me. I haven’t been in charge of my emotions, they have been in charge of me. But I would speculate that just about anyone in my shoes would probably have something similar happen to them as well.
 
Now Jody’s birthday! First of all I want to take a moment to tell my lovely bride “I am sorry”! Anyone who knows me pretty much knows I don’t really have bad days, especially of late. But I am sad to say that yesterday I had a really bad day. The one person in this whole wide world who didn’t deserve me being in a bad mood was Carla! Yes, this particular day was a difficult one, and I know that is WHY I had the day that I did. So I have told her that I am sorry and she has forgiven me. So that being said, I didn’t even need to share that nugget of news with you, but I felt as if I should.
 
Yesterday was beautiful and painful at the same time, if that makes any kind of sense. Carla was leaving as late in the day as she could for work travel, which made the day even more difficult for her. As she packed upstairs, I was on the phone down stairs trying to have flowers delivered to her hotel room. I called the hotel to explain what this day means to us and I asked them for assistance in trying to complete this flower mission. That morning I spoke to a number of people, all of them very very pleasant, but none of their names “stuck”. I called and ordered beautiful flowers which included Carla’s favorite, Lilly’s. In the card I had them write “Love Daddy & Jody and the rest of the crew” That’s what I call my family often, “The Crew”. I think it fits!
 
Carla & I took some time for just for us on Jody’s day. In fact I’m proud to say I had my first Pedi/Medi combo! Actually it was really really wonderful. My feet are soo soft and supple right now, you really could compare them to a babies butt. I’m not kidding, they are like a new pair of feet… During the Pedi Carla & I started talking to the lady next to Carla. We had a really nice conversation, quite a few laughs. We shared with her that it was Jody’s birthday. She shared with us that she owns a cupcake shop. She told us when we finished to go over to her store and she would give us “some cupcakes on the house”. How wonderful is that, just another way that Jody makes such positive things happen. So, of course we went over and grabbed these wonderful cups (which would later be confirmed)
 
Thereafter, we got Jennifer and Joey out of school early so we could do a balloon release at the hospital where Jody lived his life. Each of us wrote a note to Jody, placed the note and one of Jody’s cards into little zip lock bags and attached them to the balloons. We did a countdown starting from 5. To be honest with you the only numbers that I heard was 3, 2, 1. If any of you read one of my earlier blog entries it was about Jody’s birthing room, 321! On 1, everyone released their messages to heaven. What are the chances of them really making it to heaven? In all reality, doesn’t seem like they would make it all the way there, but who knows. In case they didn’t, we included our e-mail address so who ever finds them might send us a message letting us know how far they may have traveled.
 
We headed home after having a tasty “Linner”, that is in between Lunch and Dinner, in the hospital cafeteria. We have had many a meals there because of Mr. Jody, and it is kind of a way to be a little closer to him. After all, that hospital was his home! We get home and we placed three candles into the two cupcakes that we were given earlier. We start to sing “Happy Birthday”, half way though I broke down. My god! Jody should be here! We should be singing Happy Birthday to his earthly form, not a 3 year old heavenly form. Carla who had stayed composed (for the most part) asked me “Do you want a hug?”. WOW can my wife’s hugs work magic. No, I didn’t stop crying, but holy smokes does it feel good when she hugs me!!! I should let you know, it wasn’t a “hug for beginners” here, nor was it from “hugs 101 online course” she was giving me the “Mac Daddy” of hugs.
 
Carla & I jump into the car to head towards the airport. I KNOW it is with a heavy heart that Carla will be getting onto this plane. Her heart isn’t into it. How could it be, this is Jody’s day! All day! So Carla has boarded the plane and it occurs to me that I have no idea whether or not the flowers ever got delivered. I call the hotel the phone is answered by a lady named Praise. I share with her why I was calling and how important that those flowers were. I began to tell her how incredible Carla is. If you ask anyone that I know and they have ears, they have heard me share how wonderful my wife is. She verified that the flowers were in her room. Whew! I believe Praise said to me “Was that a sigh of relief?” In sharing with her everything about Carla, she said “Oh, I wish I could meet your wife tonight”, but as Carla was arriving at 1:00 in the morning Praise was already going to be done with work. She asked me if she could call Carla tomorrow, I encouraged her to. Before we closed I gave her this blog address.
 
The next morning I told Carla all about Praise. To shorten a longer story, in the later part of the afternoon Carla was going with Bill S. to check into the hotel. Don’t get me started on how wonderful that man is!!!! I love you Bill. Sorry, back on course now. Carla & Bill go to the counter and Carla saw the ladies name tag, “Praise” she shouted. Then Praise shouted “Carla”. Mind you, neither of these ladies had met before. The reason they were meeting right now is because of JODY! Praise asked Carla to please hold for a moment, she had something for her. She returned with a cupcake, while giving it to Carla she told her that she wanted her to have a good day today. Carla began to shed tears, but these were tears of happiness. This special woman with a warm heart helped to make Carla’s day.
 
Both Carla & I can attest to the walls that Jody helps to break down, the bridges he builds, the connections he makes.  As so many of you have heard me say “I have four children, 3 that walk with us and 1 that soars! I thank God for the wonderful people Jody has brought into our lives!
 
Thank you Jody!
 
P.S.  This blog was done completely un-proofed by Carla (I usually proof hers) So any typo’s, punctuation issues etc. etc.  I wave any and all responsibility because she’s not here!
 

Dear Jody,


Dear Jody,

April 9th is always a night that I am up wondering around the house, a little on edge… I know that in the wee hours marks the day you were born. I sat looking at the pictures that our friends have sent for your name gallery and watch the clock click over… Just waiting to be the first person to tell you “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” Continue reading