I don’t know what it is about today… it all started this morning as I was sitting watching Julianna sleep in my arms. It’s not because of her, but my heart is exceptionally heavy today. Tears just started flowing. There is a hole in my life, where a certain little boy belongs. I say a certain little boy, you must know who I am referring to. I continue to be amazed by grief, it creeps in without notice and retreats just a quickly sometimes. The thought of Jody never leaves my mind. I think of him each and everyday, realizing that dreams were crushed when he passed. Not just my dreams, the dreams of all of ours. I am dreading putting up the Christmas tree this year because although we finally have Julianna here we are not whole. We are similar to the children’s book The Missing Piece. We will roll around forever until we find that part of us…
When we returned home from the hospital, Joey and Joe were talking. Someone said that we were all home. Joey pointed out a fact… He said, “Even Jody”. Our kids continue to amaze us in so many ways.
Special days really get to us; it is in these moments we realize what is missing. The fact that we should have a toddler sitting at the table is something that we will be thinking again at Thanksgiving this year. We have so much to be thankful for and continue to see things as they develop.
I found a prayer in the Dear Abby column today… Here is what her words were. (Praying I do not get pinged with plagiarizing!!)
And now, Dear Readers, the Thanksgiving Day prayer penned by my mother:
Oh, Heavenly Father,
We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service,
That they gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.